Man Plans and God Laughs

I spent over 30 years in the contact center industry and had planned to spend the rest of my working years there. But as the Yiddish proverb goes, “Man plans, God laughs.”

In 2019, despite the plans I’d made for myself – and those I’d made with my wife of nearly 18 years – she decided that we should divorce, which effectively obliterated my future plans. It took time, but with the help of my amazing friends and family, I’ve rebounded nicely and now look forward to the future more than I ever have.

I also like to think I’ve turned lemons into lemonade by successfully launching and helping people save money and time by getting their divorce online instead of paying attorneys.

It’s precisely because of this success that I’ve been accused of “promoting” or “celebrating” divorce. 

Who’s Celebrating?

I have to admit, it’s a bit strange promoting an online divorce service while simultaneously hoping nobody EVER needs the service. But I’m also a realist. Divorce does happen…and it happens A LOT. And it’s going to keep happening whether OurDivorce exists or not.

The CDC reports more than 747,000 US divorces in 2019, which translates to one divorce every 42 seconds. It’s too early to know for sure, but Covid may have increased that number in 2020.

Divorcing couples pay attorneys over $8 billion EVERY YEAR!

According to a recent study, the average divorce in the US costs $12,900, with $11,300 of that total going directly to the attorneys involved. 

I’ll do the math so you don’t have to.

Divorcing couples pay attorneys over $8 billion EVERY YEAR! $8 billion would go a long way to pay for training and education – for the couple or their children. Imagine if that money were used used to start a business, feed the homeless, or literally anything else. But instead, it’s paid to attorneys.

Now that’s a cause for a celebration…but only the attorneys are invited.

Money Isn’t Everything

The average divorce takes 11 months – start to finish. That’s 1.3 million man-years of pain, fear, and uncertainty for the divorcing couple. Every year! 

And we haven’t calculated the pain and suffering imposed  on the couple’s children, friends, family, and coworkers. Nobody is spared.

A Place for Everyone

To be clear, I’m not trying to put attorneys out of business. Their education, training, and experience is needed in many cases. Just not all cases.

I separate the divorcing population into three groups:

  1. The Unicorns – these are the couples that have it all figured out. They know exactly what they have and how they want to split it up. If they have children, they’ve worked out a co-parenting plan and agree on custody and parent time schedules.

    I always encourage the Unicorns to at least try their state’s online resources. It’s quick and it’s free.
  2. The Lions & Hyenas – these are the couples that can’t figure anything out. Not because they’re stupid, but because they’re born to fight. It’s instinctive to fight and it doesn’t matter why. These people are usually angry, bitter and unable to work together.

    For them, I recommend they hire awesome attorneys and buckle up – because they’re in for a long and expensive ride.
  3. The Rest of Us – If you don’t fit into either of those camps, you’re like the rest of us. We need a bit more guidance than the state’s resources offer, but we’re amicable, cooperative, and don’t want to spend $11K on attorneys.

    These are the I built to serve. 

Nobody plans to get divorced. But when it happens, we have to decide which group we belong to.