Updated March 16, 2021

Reality Check

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From The Experts

Reality Check Blog Post

No matter how amicable your divorce is, before moving forward, there are a few things you need to know and accept:


  • Your situation is not unique. Divorces are not rare. The courts have more much experience with divorce than they want. The law on divorce is very well established. Attorneys, judges, and we at OurDivorce have just about seen it all (or at least that’s how we feel);
  • You will not get everything you want out of your divorce;
  • Your initial expectations of divorce are likely not just unrealistic, but bordering on delusional;
  • You’re too close to the situation; you just don’t have the necessary detachment and perspective to judge the situation all that well;
  • You don’t know how divorce law works, and even if you did, you wouldn’t believe it.


Accept it. You probably need some help getting through the divorce.


In most states, there are three options when it comes to getting a divorce:


  1. Pro Se (also known as pro per). This is where you represent yourself by downloading some documents and hoping you’ve filled them out correctly. But as the adage goes, “A man who is his own lawyer has a fool for a client.” Be very careful with this approach.
  2. Lawyers. Some statistics indicate that 70-80% of divorcing couples start the process determined to remain friendly and cooperative. But only 20-30% actually make it all the way to the end that way. Why? We believe it’s because the lawyers are literally paid to complicate and elongate the process. In our opinion, divorce lawyers are more often the problem rather than the solution and should only be engaged if you and your spouse are simply unwilling or unable to compromise or cooperate.
  3. Online Services. OurDivorce isn’t the only online service available. But it’s the best. And given the fact that the average divorce with an attorney costs over $12,000, you have very little to lose (and thousands of dollars potentially to save) by giving OurDivorce a try.

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