Divorce does not punish.
We learned in a previous post (link to What Divorce Does) that the purpose of divorce is to end marriage and allow the parties to make as much of a clean break from each other as is reasonably possible.
Divorce is not a forum for airing your grievances or “setting the record straight” nor is divorce law and procedure designed to punish your spouse for the “wrongs” your spouse has done you.
Divorce is more businesslike than that.
The point of divorce is to dissolve the marriage, divide the property and assets fairly between the parties, and divide the debts and obligations fairly between the parties, but not to settle scores.
But divorce does not leave you unscathed.
Divorce leaves most people worse off financially than they were before.
If you’re paying alimony and child support, you are going to have less money to spend. If you were financially dependent on your spouse during marriage, your standard of living and lifestyle are likely going to take a hit, even if you get alimony and/or child support. If you didn’t work outside the home before divorce, or didn’t work full-time, that’s likely going to change.
And if you don’t use OurDivorce, you’ll most likely need to add in the cost of a divorce attorney.
Divorce also leads to unexpected, unforeseen losses and disappointments. You realize this as the little things start to overwhelm you: the dryer or garage door breaks down and your ex isn’t there to fix it, you start having to do your own laundry, cooking, and housekeeping. You have to start balancing the checkbook and getting the kids to soccer and back. You’ll have less free time. “You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone” is certainly true of the divorce experience.
And even if you divorce to stop your pain and suffering, divorce will likely leave you with a sense of loss.
No matter what, divorce takes an emotional toll. This is why OurDivorce works so hard to lessen the pain of the divorce process.